Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
