Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
