Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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