The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
