we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
