I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You left your phone here
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