Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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