Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
