Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
