sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
His nipple licking is glorious
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