Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
