I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
