I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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