Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
