Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
