i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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