am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I believe in your delicious
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