I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
