I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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