is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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