If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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