i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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