you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
