so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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