I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
