4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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