My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
