i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
