talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
