i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
