I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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