I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
