They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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