I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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