Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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