Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize