she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
