Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
