Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
