I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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