That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
