How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
