i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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