Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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