You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
