Kareoke will never be a sober sport
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
do nipples grow back?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
