In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
