And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
