wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
