Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
