please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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