All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
