I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize