thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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