its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's the barista slut.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
