Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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