would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
