You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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