Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
