I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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