Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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